Do the Work to Change Your Mindset
While most experts agree that with work and commitment, it is possible to change your mindset, they often differ in their approach to how this can be accomplished. In the previous article, we took a look at the writings and advice of Jay Shetty, author of Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day.
In this article, we explore the teachings of Byron Katie, an author and speaker who advocates a method of self-inquiry that she refers to as “The Work.” She is the author of Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life.
The Process of Self-Inquiry
Katie believes that suffering is caused by believing that your own stressful thoughts are reality, and that our minds are fully capable of ending this suffering. She writes,
“I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn't believe them, I didn't suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment.”
As a prerequisite for undertaking The Work, people have to relinquish the belief that their key to happiness lies with other people or outside circumstances. Instead, they must believe that it is only through themselves that they can obtain happiness. Katie believes that once someone recognizes that behind every stressful feeling is an “untrue” thought, that person can replace that untruth with reality.
The Four Questions
The Work is a way of identifying and questioning stressful thoughts. It consists of four questions:
Is it true? This is a reality check, in which you must determine whether your particular thought is really true.. If you decide yes, then you go on answer question two. If not, you move on to question three.
Can you absolutely know that it's true? Now you must search deeper to find proof that the belief that is causing you pain is true. This process helps reveal what that truth tells you about yourself.
How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? Next, you examine your emotions and your reactions, such as how you respond to the person who is involved in the thought, whether it’s a partner, family member, friend or maybe even a stranger. You must decide between letting go of the thought, or coming up with a stress-free reason to hang on to it.
Who would you be without the thought? You can free yourself from a thought that is grounded in fear or falsehood by projecting yourself into the situation, but leaving the stressful thought behind.
Katie advocates writing down your thoughts, which helps encourage an honest response. She believes that if you do this work regularly and with commitment, it can transform your mind and emotions by rewiring your brain to eliminate painful and untrue thoughts. She writes, “When we stop opposing reality, action becomes simple, fluid, kind, and fearless."
The Turnaround
The turnaround is an invitation to believe the opposite of what you thought to be true. You can accomplish this by coming up with a sentence expressing the converse of what you believe, as a way of actually experiencing the opposite of the thought you were believing. The final step is to think of examples of how each turnaround is just as true as the initial thought.
Now you are ready to start your journey of handling everything that life throws your way – adversity, sickness, loss, stress, anxiety along with joy and all the happy moments – with a commitment to changing a negative mindset. There are many different techniques and approaches, and many experts who can help you along the way. What is important is that you find the one that works for you. It may take time and patience, but persevere, and you are sure to be rewarded!