How Relationships Help You Build Resilience
In our previous article, we addressed the relationship between resilience and connection to others and how having a social network can help people fare better in the face of adversity. In this article, we take things a little further, explaining the way in which social support can help you become more resilient.
Once again, we tap into the wisdom of Jill Suttie, Psy.D., the former book review editor for Greater Good Magazine, which is published by The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley.
Positive Social Relationships are Key to Resilience
Suttie begins by saying that social relationships are important for one’s psychological and physical well-being, but also have an impact on one’s resiliency, the ability to bounce back when dealing with stress, trauma or suffering. She points to studies that have shown that having positive relationships earlier in life can result in being less depressed later in life.
Suttie posits that having social relationships tamps down stressful reactions, even when those relationships are recalled later in time. She cites a finding that a caring touch from a healthcare worker actually reduced pain in accident victims up to six months later. She quotes the American Psychological Association in its resilience report: “Many studies show that the primary factor in resilience is having caring and supportive relationships within and outside the family. Relationships that create love and trust, provide role models and offer encouragement and reassurance, help bolster a person’s resilience.”
Resilience Depends on Culture
According to Suttie, one’s culture has an impact on social relationships and resilience. She says that collectivist cultures, in which the well-being of the group is valued more than the individual’s, social support tends to help people more in overcoming setbacks than relying on one’s inner strength.
Americans, who are individualistic, require a combination of both independence and relationships to be more resilient. She says, “How resilient we are may have as much to do with our social milieu and circle of support as it does with our personal strengths.”
The Role of Social Safety Nets
People tend to feel happier and be healthier in countries in which the government provides social support, such as universal free healthcare and paid parental leave, making it easier for them to thrive in the face of adversity. Suttie writes, “As a report from the World Bank suggests, social support networks are critical to resiliency, especially for the poor and vulnerable. In areas where there is great wealth inequality, people suffer more ill health effects to begin with.”
Resilience is Associated with Stronger Social Connections
According to Suttie’s research, people who live life with a purpose or are altruistic tend to be more resilient. She explains that this is because altruism is tied to social relationships, which helps one to be more resilient. In addition, practicing gratitude can strengthen relationships and social support networks.
Going to a therapist, joining a support group and getting involved in volunteering are all activities that increase social and emotional connection. She concludes, “So, why does this matter? If we don’t understand the relevance of social context in resiliency, we may end up setting ourselves up for failure. If resiliency doesn’t simply mean focusing on our personal strengths and overcoming the odds, we will create more ways for people to strengthen their support systems—and for governments to enact policies that help prevent unnecessary adversity in the first place.”
In my third and final article about resilience, I will explore ways in which to build your social network to help you when have to deal with loss, trauma, or any other kind of adversity.