There is No Healing Without Connection – Supportive Relationships Can Help People Overcome Adversity
We have previously shared the notion that resilience - the ability to adapt well in the face of trauma, tragedy, or illness - isn’t something you are born with or not born with. It’s an asset you can acquire through information and practice. In this article, We talk about how a social support network can help you overcome adversity and even thrive.
The Power of Social Support
In addition to focusing on tapping into your inner strength in order to overcome hardship, start thinking about embracing connections to other people. Relationships are at the crux of your personal well-being and healthy development. According to an article in Psychology Today, building relationships “enables us to strengthen the skills associated with resilience. Relationships that foster growth can strengthen resilience through connection.”
As the American Psychological Association wrote in its resilience report: “Many studies show that the primary factor in resilience is having caring and supportive relationships within and outside the family. Relationships that create love and trust, provide role models and offer encouragement and reassurance, help bolster a person’s resilience.”
In another article, this one by Helga Luest, a recognized trauma expert, keynote presenter and trainer who created TraumaInformed.org, writes, “The key to healing and building resilience is connection with others who can validate, empathize, and understand our feelings and experiences.” That connection can be modest, even just a hug or a few minutes of eye contact with another person, because, according to Luest, even brief contact can boost oxytocin levels in the brain, enhancing one’s sense of optimism, trust, and self-esteem.
Luest concludes, “No matter what life may bring, it is our connectedness that helps us navigate through and to be resilient. I didn’t know this at the start of my journey to heal from violence, but I know it now, and I appreciate how just staying connected with family, friends, and community can have a profound effect on how life is experienced.”
Personal Relationships are as Important as Inner Strength
Some trauma specialists and psychologists believe that too much emphasis is placed by researchers on individual strengths rather on social support, by studying personal qualities rather than social context. Jill Suttie, Psy.D. is the former book review editor for Greater Good Magazine, which is published by The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley. She writes, “The research surrounding resiliency is complex and varied… Lost in the mix of resiliency research is the importance of social circumstances. How resilient we are may have as much or more to do with our social milieu and circle of support—our communities, our institutions, our cultural expectations—as it does with our personal strengths.”
Suttie goes on to say, “Though we may think it’s easier to change ourselves when it comes to facing adversity—to pick ourselves up by our bootstraps, as they say—research suggests that positive relationships and supportive environments have an important role to play.”
Suttie believes that good social relationships can help us minimize stress reactions. That’s why, she suggests, that people who suffer from a trauma or setback are often encouraged to see a therapist, join a support group or become involved in volunteer work, because “all of these activities have at their root the opportunity for deeper or wider social and emotional connection…Even religious belief may be, for many, an opportunity to deepen social connections, which could explain its potency.”
Suttie concludes, “So, why does this matter? If we don’t understand the relevance of social context in resiliency, we may end up setting ourselves up for failure. If resiliency doesn’t simply mean focusing on our personal strengths and overcoming the odds, we will create more ways for people to strengthen their support systems.”